When I go out to meet the light, the shadow of my body follows me, but the shadow of my spirit precedes me and leads the way to an unknown place
- Kahlil Gibran

Monday, April 28, 2008

Towards Spain

In 2 days I leave for Spain. The primary purpose for this trip is to walk the Camino de Santiago - a fabled pilgrimage trail that has mention in several author's writings. One of whom is Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist). I will devote 12 days to trek the 210 miles between Leon and Santiago. Santiago is where the tomb is St.James the Apostle is believed to be.

My postings will likely dwindle for the next month, I will spend 30 days in Spain and I am uncertain about my internet access.

"Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin! "

Vancouver, Fluoride and Orbs

My time in Vancouver was delightful. I got to spend time with old and dear friends, and it was different from the usual 'hey there, what's up, see ya later' chats people tend to have with friends when they're on the go and the fact that the friend is usually accessible means the conversation can be kept trite and brief. This time around my friends and I connected and I left feeling we had left meaningful impressions with each other. I have the awareness that I've contributed some sort of knowledge to them... perhaps a gentle nudge in a direction. I've been pleasantly surprised to see that my life has suddenly become a sort of inspiration to my friends and many have warm blessings for my journey. Their own intuition conjuring joy and excitement at the prospect of what may lie ahead.

This trip I got to meet my dear friend Mona's fiance. His name is Peter and he had some interesting pictures on his camera. He showed me two pictures that he had taken in the new apartment that he and Mona had just moved into a few days ago. Both of them contained orbs. Orbs have recently been causing a sensation and books have been written, research has been conducted. It's easy to dismiss Orbs as malarkey, indeed most of them are nothing more than minute particles in the air being reflected by the camera's flash. Yet the pictures he showed me simply could not be dismissed that easily. The first one showed a patch on his shirt, it was taken in the garage under clear lighting. The second one that was taken a few minutes later sent chills up my spine, it was of Mona and the orb was huge in comparison. In fact it was PERFECTly overlapping her head with the exception of her mouth and chin. Science has a few theories for Orbs and some are paranormal. I have my own compelling belief about them that falls in neatly with the things I have learned recently.

In a separate conversation, my other dear friend Kally's husband also had some fascinating information about fluoride and plane spraying. According to Rajeev, the government has been spraying particles in the air that make us more compliant. He also pointed out that there is no reason for the high quantities of fluoride in our water. The first time fluoride was used was by the Nazi's in concentration camps to make the prisoners more compliant and dull. Apparently the average person will lose about 10-15 IQ points in their lifetime due to fluoride. He went on to list out other types of governmental research that was alarming and not publicly known.

Another odd set of occurrence that is hard to ignore... the lady on the plane en route to Vancouver mentioned the Mayan calendar and the year 2012. It was the first time I heard of this, and I didn't think much about it. The Mayans are long gone, I'm happy with my current calendar. The next day, Rajeev (Kally's husband) mentions the Mayan calendar and the year 2012. Second time in two days, wow. The next day again, Peter (Mona's fiance) mentions the Mayan calendar and the year 2012, now I'm concerned and listening.

This begs the question: Are my friend's are involved with nutbags or is the Universe trying to tell us something?

The orb on Mona.  Look how perfectly aligned it is with her brain.

A Momentary Terrorist

I am on Alaska Airlines flight 708 returning to LAX from Vancouver. The expectation had been that I would board Alaska Airlines flight 607 departing at 530pm, and the expectation would have been fulfilled if I had not come under heavy suspicion of being a suicidal terrorist at immigration. I am not upset at the US immigration officials in Vancouver airport for causing me to miss my flight by keeping my travel items under close scrutiny and myself under interrogation for a solid two and a half hours. It was not their fault that my story played much like a terrorist's and the funny thing is that as I listened to my own story I couldn't help but groan inwardly at my increasing awareness of the officials mounting conviction that I intended to hijack the plane and crash it into the Seattle Space Needle after takeoff. A few factors contributed to Gao's (the official) excitement at the prospect of himself becoming a hero in the eyes of his peers after busting me wide open and then handing me over to the FBI:

1. my brand new Canadian passport replacing a lost one
2. the fact that I made the decision to quit my job and leave sunny California for no sensible reason, exiting on a one way ticket to Malaysia without any significant career purpose
3. that I was going to Spain for 30 days on the 30th of April to rendesvouz with someone that I had met on a trip to Malaysia a year and a half ago
4. that I had a CD in my luggage called Dub Qawali by Nusrah Fateh Ali Khan which looked menacingly like fanatical brain washing by some sort of muslim extremist mullah
5. that I had among my possessions a slip of paper entitled “No Fear” in capital letters and listing out strategic on court instructions for advancing my tennis game. In bullet form were words such as “stay aggressive”, “take the ball early” etc. It looked remarkably like motivational instructions for storming an airplane cockpit.

Gao ran all kinds of background checks on me and my itinerary, the moving company that I had engaged, the friend that I was meeting. As a final measure he even borrowed two of my music CDs and listened to then researched their content. I was impressed at his dedication and the more time I spent with him, the more I admired his professionalism. At the end of our interaction, as the veil of suspicion fell away, he broached the hint of a sheepish apologetic smile as we called me forward to return all my Ids, paperwork and other evidence that he had accumulated. Though bemused and entertained, I was glad to part as another innocuous journeyman desiring passage.

Gao you deserve a medal for your efforts, I thank you for your orchestration of this journal entry and I also thank you that the rubber gloves you put on were strictly for the purpose of sifting through my baggage and nothing else. :)

Thursday, April 24, 2008

the streets of Vancouver

Today I walked the streets of Vancouver and really saw the people and buildings for the first time. I had lived by this city for many years prior to California and somehow I had never really experienced the vibrancy and pulse of the city and it's dwellers. I suspect my mind had been too cluttered trying to measure up to the person I thought I had to be, maybe too busy trying to fit in instead of really experiencing reality. This time around being jobless and homeless I didn't really know what my role ought to be.

Owing to the privilege of staying at my friend Kally's downtown apartment I was able to walk to the passport renewal office to replace my Canadian passport that somehow had walked away during my packing and storage a month ago. At the government office I was struck by the decorum and properness of the government officers, Canada is really the British version of the USA but more liberal. Then there was the quest to find a yoga studio, it was not hard to accomplish that. Yoga has really blossomed in this city as everywhere else in the modern world it seems.

This time walking the streets I allowed myself to let down my guard, stay fully present and observe the expression of each person, actually trying to make eye contact. I found beauty reflected back though shrouded by fear. I realized the smiles were quicker on the faces of the people of Hawaii.


Here I am sitting in Seattle-Tacoma airport Terminal C in transit to Vancouver and anxious to journal the events of the past 4 hours. What an interesting person I sat next to on the plane, it is surely not a random coincidence that we were meant to sit next to each other. I had intended to sleep on the plane but I was restless in my attempts. Instead I found myself increasingly enraptured by the amazing elderly lady's conversation with me. Her name is Dr. Glenn Key enroute to an “Intuitive and Healing Arts” event in Anchorage and she is 78 years old though until she told me so I had thought her to be more late 50's. We began our conversation with the usual introductory banter but it shortly turned meaningful when she started to ask about the book I was reading whose title alluded to spiritual matter. Often when the conversation subsided and I resumed my reading and then returned to conversation with her a while later, the ensuing topic would bear strong relation to what I had just read and through no influence on my part and always in a natural flow of topic.

I interrupted her to excuse myself to the restroom at a point in the conversation when she had just begun to tell how she came to begin her spiritual quest. I returned and asked her to resume the conversation even providing the precise point where we left off but she ignored it and instead asked about my finances and seconds later she told me straight out that I was going to meet someone with a lot of money that would be very important to me financially. She said that was the message she received while I was away in the restroom. In December, at my office Xmas party there was a card reader on hand and I had my fortune read for the year, almost all the cards that I picked from the deck pertained to finance and the reader told me that this year was important to me financially and that it would involve someone older. To hear this affirmed by someone next to me on the plane left me astounded. I probed her about her ability to discern the future and she said that she received messages sometimes and was not a psychic in the true sense.

As she was helped into her wheelchair after the flight (she walked with a cane as a result of a fall recently), we hugged and one of the last things she told me was that walking the Santiago trail was going to be a meaningful experience for me. I looked at her in parting and noted her warm smile and glowing complexion. She seemed so radiant and otherwordly. When we were talking earlier she had asked if I had met angels before and I thought of another elderly woman that had sat once next to me at Nordstrom cafe. I told Glenn that I probably had come across such entities in my life but was not aware with certainty. She told me that she believed them to exist and guide us.

Perhaps she had been a heavenly usher along the bright path.

Monday, April 21, 2008

For my birthday I would like some time to sit down and breathe

Let me tell you, living without a home has its challenges. Since I gave up my apartment on April 26th my life has been a hectic scramble between 3 friend's homes selling my possessions, giving it away and for the most part shipping it off to Malaysia where it shall be used to furnish a rental property I've invested in. My sanctuary is no more, now each moment of privacy is a privilege. This alone takes it's toll on my sense of well being more than anything else. I am shorter fused and my mind seems more cluttered these days as a result. Plus my crazy schedule of travel has depleted my energy time and again, I'm now nursing a cold. Inside it seems that things are happening too fast, my life has become that bus in the movie 'Speed'. Nevertheless I am so grateful to the kindness and generosity of my friends that have opened their homes to me. Friends never used to rank highly among the blessings in my life but the past few years have overthrown that impression.

I am updating my blog now in Plano, Texas in my younger brother's home. My mother flew in from China 3 days ago and we drove to Texas from the OC. A non-stop haul of 21 hours and through the night. A road trip with my Mum that had me see in my 33rd birthday eastbound on the I-20. That morning as we were on the road, the sun rose directly in front of us and the full moon was equally huge as it descended in the rear view mirror, a unique occurrence of perfect harmony.

I was grateful to be with my mother and brother, Aidan, and his fiance on my birthday. We had a dinner here in Plano in his neighborhood and then had some martini listening to a live duo perform on-stage. My bro's settled real well in the US. He's got a lovely setup here in Plano, nice upscale living in a well planned urban community, everything within walking distance and safe. Opportunities to meet beautiful women abound here, my buddy Thanh would love it here. Socially, it has everything that Ladera Ranch in the OC lacks for the single bachelor. Today is Thanh's birthday, we were born less than a day apart and it seemed that our fates are intertwined as a result of this cosmic arrangement. We both seemed to be the last two bachelors at work and he commented that his Mum once told him that he would never be lucky with love because of his birthdate. The evidence show strongly that I am doomed to the same fate due to the close alignment of our stars.

Tomorrow morning I have a flight to Vancouver to see some dear friends for what would the last time for a long time.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Living Free

2 weeks ago I had a home, possessions and a job in sunny California. I've lived in California for the past 5 years, it was always a 5 year plan for me to stay here and life here quickly got comfortable. When I was offered a job here I didn't think it would be this difficult to leave but I've grown to love some people here and the weather... well that one is self-evident. After 3 years I had stretched my 5 year plan into a longer one, life was so good. Yet coincidentally after 5 years, the notion of leaving California replayed itself forcefully in my consciousness due to inside news of the impending threat of a layoff at work and the more I played the scenario in my mind the more I realized that many many signs simply pointed to going now. Still I had shelved my 5 years plan and more importantly my exit plan required a safe place to step to, it was a basic requisite. This was the unknown, it was not logical and it was not safe. Over one weekend of contemplation, the commitment was made to leave and though I escaped the layoffs I tendered and 6 week notice of resignation anyways a few days later.

Prior to California I was living in Vancouver stuck in a relationship and job that was repeating itself and going nowhere. I was not learning and expanding, and in that life I was also denying my girlfriend of 4.5 years her own destiny. Knowing this I was too afraid to let go because the fear of loneliness was crippling. How do you let go of someone that loves you when it seems that is all you have and love is all that matters? My family was scattered across the globe and I was the only one left in Vancouver, she seemed to be the only one that cared. Sometimes you grab life by the horns and sometimes it charges you unexpectedly. Once I ended the relationship I lost my job 2 weeks later, I left Vancouver and drifted for a while and to cut a story short California found me.

California is where I grew up, I've lived in Malaysia and Canada for the past 28 years but the past 5 years in Cali have been such great growth and inner cleansing. The person that is leaving California is hardly recognizable to the one that arrived here with a suitcase full of work clothes and heart full of intention to expand my being. The people make it hard to leave... I don't recall my heart being so heavy in leaving any place prior to this and I had lived in those places for longer. It seems that the bonds I've made here are stronger, maybe it is a quality of being more mature that the relationships also are taken more deeply into yourself. I can look at many faces of the people I have known here and I can recognize the specific quality that has drawn them to me and that I have learned from. Compassion, Joy, Maturity, Humility, Courage, they all wore faces and I knew them personally. I take a part of each of you with me, you are all part of me now, this is how I have grown.

A dear friend of mine threw me a going away party and I invited these people to attend. Someone had made me a book of travel quotes and during my farewell commentary I glanced through it and one quote jumped out immediately and I relayed it to the group. It could not have been more perfect:

"When the Heart grieves over what it has lost, the Spirit rejoices over what it has left."

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

the Bright Path

Ok here it is folks, my first REAL blog post.

I called this blog the Bright Path because it is meant to document my journey along the path that leads to... ? It is hard to put this into words, I could say dreams but dreams have a visual image don't they? A sort of mental reference picture that we then spend effort and time bending reality into conformity with OR as most people do, place in a box and bury away, replaced by a safer mode of living that has grown comfortable and familiar. I've thought about where the Bright Path leads and I think words don't describe it for me, perhaps I am not articulate enough. If I were to describe it with feelings, it would be that 'place' that I find myself when I am listening intently to one of my favorite songs. Do you ever become transported to a place by certain music and you can't help but wonder if we were really meant to be living that life instead of this one?

This blog is my journal of my quest for that place in each of us.