On the final day (day 11) of my Camino, I took a bus to Santiago from a town on the coast called Ribeira where due to unforeseen circumstances, I had spent the last 3 days with my friend Lorena and her aunt instead of continuing my walk. When I walked into the grand cathedral in Santiago I didn't feel an overwhelming emotional force wash over me. I had heard of people on the camino breaking down and sobbing at points on the trail when barriers within themselves crack, others have mystical experiences as they realize the unity that surrounds them. I did not have either one though I did feel quite emotional at certain places on the trail when the beauty around me seemed too much to bear. In such moments of wonder so intense that it seemed I was on the verge of dissolving completely and becoming part of the landscape before me.
Standing in the cathedral reminds me of the churches and cathedrals these past few weeks. They appear as mighty yet garish displays of wealth and power intending to serve as temples for worshiping God or to proclaim one religion mightier and truer than another. I felt a stronger presence of 'God' in the spontaneous loving embrace of fellowship between the Norwegian sisters and myself at one point during the Camino than in any of the churches and cathedrals. I touched the pillar in the cathedral that had been worn smooth as polished marble by the hands of thousands of pilgrims before me for centuries and I didn't feel a blinding flash of revelation. What struck me instead was the irony that this enormous cathedral had been built to honor the resting place of one of Christ's apostles but the facts showed that the person laying in eternal slumber in the sepulcher was actually shown to be more likely that of some heretic than St.James. So what was the supernatural mystique that drew us to this place in the first place? Or was it really purely a mental construct? It was just a physical symbol whose worth was entirely ascribed to it by our minds. The Camino can be any destination that we choose to create, indeed our whole world experience is formed by our minds. I have heard it said that the Universe perfectly reflects our thoughts back to us, one small mental shift can result in a huge change in the quality of our lives. Vast amounts of energy can be wasted holding onto self defeating beliefs and protecting them. On my Bright Path I want to drop the burden of these thoughts, return to my innocence and become fearless again. Let me remember my true identity.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own Light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson
The fields of Spain.
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