Apsaras

I'm standing on the platform waiting for the train at Town Hall station amongst the morning rush hour crowd. My mind drifts as I gaze down the tunnel in anticipation of the arriving train. A girl steps next to me on my left, I throw a cursory glance and then a second later it strikes me that this girl resembles the Indian girl that had been occupying my thoughts since the weekend; in fact, the resemblance is so strong that a state of bewilderment overcomes me. I am trying to get a proper look at her face, she is literally standing next to me but she too is facing down the tunnel so I cannot see her face again. In this moment the train arrives and it is unusually packed, the crowd condenses around us in anticipation of boarding the train. I resolve to stay close to her, I feel fevered that this moment is my last chance - I created her again just as I said I would.

The train stops and the doors open to belch forth a long stream of people; it quickly becomes intensely packed on the platform. I've never seen it this crowded. There is an announcement requesting that we do not delay the departure of this train because there is another one arriving in 2 minutes. The last passengers have barely alighted when the platform guard blows his whistle to signal the doors are closing! There is jostling, the crowd surges toward the door that threatens to close any second. I despair that she will board this train without me.

Incredibly somehow everyone around this door has made it onboard the train except just the two of us who remain on the platform. Surely a second at most remains, but it seems that we are waiting for the other to make the decision. Sensing a movement on her part towards the train, I react with a bold step that commits me onboard. To my alarm she has faltered - she is still on the platform. The whistle blows again, and then to my relief she suddenly steps onboard beside me. I am about to heave praise to the heavens for the masterful orchestration of events that allowed the both of us on this train AND remain beside each other when a man materializes out of nowhere and rushes in to occupy the space between us as the doors close. Now I can't see her behind this wall of a person.

The train slowly gathers speed. The events of the past 20 seconds were mired in chaos that I still cannot know if she is truly the same person. However, I know that she is Indian and her features, hair, shade of skin, figure... they are all the same. I wait. The repositioning of bodies at the next stop will give an opportunity to move within speaking quarters. What should I say?

The doors open again at the next stop, being against the doors we are forced to step off the train to allow passengers to disembark. Stepping back on, she is herded down the stairs to the lower carriage, I follow but stop at the top of the stairs. I can see only her back. Once I am certain it is her I shall speak with her. But I cannot know from this vantage point. I sense that she is aware of my presence at the top of the stairs 15 feet away. I wish she would turn around, the indecision gnaws at me.

She turns over her shoulder, and looks up at the top of stairs and our eyes lock briefly. A surge of emotion. Then she turns away again. Two more stations pass then she turns to walk toward the stairs moving in step with other passengers leaving. Now I can see her clearly. No... it is not the same person though physically this could very well be her twin. I decide it is not her because those liquid intelligent eyes are not there, her energy is different altogether. She walks right by me then exits the train.

I dismiss the disappointment that wants to sink in. I decide I am encouraged not discouraged by this encounter... maybe I just need some fine tuning to summon her into being yet again. On the other hand, maybe she and the other girl are in fact celestial apsaras. And if so, then surely this forebodes well of my visit to the land south of the Indus river. With a warmth in my belly and a glint in my eye, I step off the train towards my office.