When I go out to meet the light, the shadow of my body follows me, but the shadow of my spirit precedes me and leads the way to an unknown place
- Kahlil Gibran

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Stuck in a rut

As I lay on my sleeping pad, my eyesight keeps bumping against a box on on a shelf near the TV with the words "Go Crazy" on the side. My back seems to have worsened over the past couple of days. My thoughts run amok and I start to despair that I might end up bedridden the duration of the trip and miss the Great Walks that I have planned. I muster the resolve to have a surgical procedure performed on my back to cure this hinderance at the next opportunity. I sympathize with my poor father who has been suffering more these days, he is now in Malaysia seeking further consultation, his back is in worse condition than mine at the moment. He required wheelchair assistance to travel between China and Malaysia, even after a week had passed since the onset of this current episode. Personally I've already had my share of emergency visits in the past because of recurring back meltdowns, so I can relate to the misery to some extent.

I feel alienated from J and M, somehow pain causes one to withdraw and I have done just that. The trip they had planned today didn't materialize because the weather has turned sour and it's been raining the entire day.

Later...

To avoid risking permanent damage to my psyche I leave the apartment, braving the weather and my discomfort. I sit at Vudu cafe nursing an excellent mochaccino somberly watching the rain fall outside as the agitated nerve in my back nags me. I try to accept my circumstances, I have faith that there is a lesson here for me. The thought occurs "the experiences we tend to resist the most are the most important ones in our lives". So I resign myself and stay faithful that I am treading the right path coming to Queenstown.

As I leave the cafe I ask the server if there is a pharmacy nearby and she directs me to a gold mine of pain relief treatments. I am delighted to find Voltaren and a strong rub containing Arnica. I pick these up and hope springs anew that this trip might go as planned after all.

Queenstown.  The tennis courts are on the outcrop of land (closer to the bottom of the picture) and I am staying across the water from it.  

2 comments:

Me said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your back. That can definitely put a damper on your spirits. Do you remember those exercises from a few years ago? Not sure if they will help in this case, but it's worth a try. Or could you get a massage?

Ymous Anon said...

MTV was playing Muse's "Feeling Good" as I read about your back problems. Every now and then we are reminded to count our blessings. Heal soon. Enjoy NZ.