Faltering light

Still no guidance... nothing substantial has developed yet in my life and as far as my inner growth and expansion is concerned it seems that too is stalled.  Profession wise the training that I've intended to take is not available yet in this region and there is no clear indication of when it shall be.  I am told that the training should be available soon, in a month I think.  The interview that I hoped would lead to a job... did not.

I should have knocked on wood when I boasted in a previous post that I can't remember the last time I've been bored.  Now I can - it was last night, and the day before and if I'm not mistaken there was some of that the day before it too.  But is it really boredom or is it avoidance of the frustration that I now carry.  Perhaps I am avoiding time alone with myself and my mind is calling it boredom; and so rather than deal with the issue(s) haunting me sub-consciously I look for social distractions instead.  

Last night I declined a dinner invitation, instead I stayed at home to confront this rising tide of negativity that is dimming my light.  And so I Ascended and shed a substantial portion of this weight, by the end of the session my Godmother text messaged me to inquire about me.  I could not help being slightly amazed at the timing of her message.

Is this the extent of the Bright Path?  These days as the blissful months prior to my arrival here in Malaysia stretch farther away in my memory, I find myself being re-hooked more strongly into 'The Dream of the Planet' - a term the Ancient Toltecs used to describe our false version of reality which is a collective dream of billions of smaller, personal dreams that the humans before us created and each generation perpetuates.  The Ancients believed we dream with our brain awake, and so our minds dream twenty-four hours a day.  In the book The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz attributes the source of our limiting beliefs to this dream state.  He says from birth we were domesticated, first by our parents through punishment and reward.  And though we rebelled against the beliefs we were not strong enough to win the rebellion and we surrendered to these beliefs with our agreement and thus dream society's dream also.  The belief system is the Book of Laws that rules our personal dream.

Yesterday I encountered some new music that moved me strongly, listening to it it seemed my eyes were opened and for a moment I awoke from my dream.  As my mind quietened, time slowed and doorways within me reopened.  I wondered with gratitude, how long has it been since I've been this reassured of the reality I seek?